The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Pregnancy

Since my blog title is from mommy to marriage I better start off with just that, becoming a mommy. Rewind to what seems like years ago but really has only been a short few months since giving birth to my beautiful son Armani. When me and his father found out we were going to have a baby I can't say we were surprised because we BOTH knew that we were not taking the necessary precautions that we should have been taking but I can say that we were the type of people that thought "it's never going to happen to me." D'Angelo and I were not as some would say "together" at this time, just kind of feeling one another out to see if this fling would lead into a relationship or not, but from that day D'Angelo was nothing but supportive and loving. He told me over and over again that no matter what happened between him and I that he would always be there for me and the baby. I couldn't be more thankful to have a man like D'Angelo by my side. Most guys that are not in a committed relationship with a girl that they get pregnant run as soon as they hear those words "I'm late." Dlo and I had only known one another for about a month at this time and I can't really even say we knew each other because in all honesty we knew nothing about one another. At this time I was living in Lincoln all alone and Dlo was living in Fremont going to school. I can't even begin to tell you all the emotions I was feeling all at once; fear, joy, overwhelmed, so many emotions I can't even put into words. Immediately I called my best friend Emily and told her, she of course did not believe me and told me as soon as I got off work she would come over and we would take a different brand of the pregnancy test because sometimes they are wrong. (what are friends for!) I took her up on this deal even though in my heart I knew that no other brand of test was going to come back with a different result. After I got off work Emily, like she promised, rushed over and we drove to Walgreens and bought two different types of pregnancy test. We got back to my apartment and after 6 confirmed tests we both knew that this was real and that our lives would forever change. Emily was sooo supportive during this time and would always send me cute little baby blogs to read, making sure I stopped drinking pop and was eating the right foods.

At this point in time all I had for support was Emily and D'Angelo. My parents were in Arizona for the summer with the rest of my family and how do you tell your family that you are pregnant with a guy they had never even heard of or met. I remember crying for hours and hours not because I was sad about the pregnancy but because I had no idea how to tell my family and I had no idea where me and D'Angelo's relationship would end up. Would we work it out and be together for the baby or would I be a single mother? The latter scared me to death! I grew up with two loving, amazing parents and I did not want to raise a child in  split home.

I really didn't have any time to hide my pregnancy from my family because I was flying out to see them in a couple weeks and those of you who know me I like to drink and if I went on a vacation to see my family and didn't drink they would know something was wrong with me. I went back and forth back and forth. Do I write my parents a letter saying all the things I wanted to say but couldn't, do I try and fake it while I was around them, or do I just woman up and tell them face to face when I get there. Well none of these took place. My sister Jill had called me on the phone while she was on her way to meet up with the rest of the family, I broke down and told her I was pregnant and at first I really don't think she knew how to take it but she seemed fairly calm and told me she was going to talk with my oldest sister Heidi and that they would call me back with a plan. So I felt a little bit of weight off my shoulders because two of the four most important people would know. A few hours went by and they both called me on speaker phone. They had a few questions and ultimately we came up with the plan that the next day they would sit my parents down and tell them the news and then my parents could call me and we could discuss everything. I don't think I even slept or ate anything all day that day, my stomach was in knots and I had no idea how my parents were going to handle this news or what they were about to say to me. Disappointing your parents is the worst feeling in the world, but at the end of my day I knew my parents would be there for me no matter what. After I got off work I called my parents and they had just found out the news. Of course there were some tears, but my parents handled it a 1,000 times better than I would have ever imagined. I told them on the phone that if they didn't want to see me that I would just miss my flight and they could see me when they got back, they instantly said no that they wanted to see me and to give me a hug. That just goes to show the type of parents that I have and how blessed I truly am to have been raised by two strong, supportive, unconditional loving people. After that phone call I felt so much better about everything, I still hadn't rapped my head around the fact that I was really having a baby and was still worried about where D'Angelo and I's relationship would end up.

Two days after the phone call I flew out to Arizona to be with my family for a few days and as always it was a great time. I love Arizona and I cherish every moment I get to spend with all of my family members. They all welcomed me with hugs, kisses, and words of wisdom. I can't thank God enough for the family he gave me.

Once I got back from Arizona Dlo and I had our first official doctors appointment and we got to see the baby and I was measured for how far along I was. At this time I was about 9 weeks along. The rest of the summer was spent with me working at Brix & Stone in Lincoln and Dlo working in Fremont. At the end of July I moved back in with my parents so that I could finish my last two years at Wayne. D'Angelo still had one year left at Midland University until he graduated. D'Angelo and I definitely kept in touch and saw each other quite often, but I can say that our relationship was not in a good place. I think I had a lot of emotions and feelings that I did not yet know how to deal with and I was taking out all my anger and blaming Dlo for the fact that I was pregnant, when in reality it takes two people to tango. When my parents got back from Arizona they met Dlo for the first time and enjoyed him right away. It made me feel really good that my parents approved of Dlo because their opinion means so much to me. After seeing all the effort D'Angelo was putting into getting to know my parents and to spend time with me I had to take a step back and really think about my feelings for him and how I was just as much a part of the reason I was pregnant as was he. After we kept spending more and more time together our relationship just started to build and grow stronger each and every day. We really got to know one another and before I knew it I had fallen in love with this man and knew that everything was going to work out.

Sorry for the long detailed background information but I really think it is important for everyone to know where me and D came from.

Now into the good stuff my actual pregnancy! In the beginning I was soooooo incredibly tired. I could sleep for ten hours at night wake up and take a 3 hour nap and do the same thing time and time again. It took me a while to actually start showing that I was pregnant and after a few months my energy slowly started to come back. The second trimester was probably my favorite time because I could actually see my belly starting to grow and it was all becoming so real to me. I remember the day we found out we were having a boy. At this point only my closest friends and family members knew that I was pregnant and we were all eager to find out what I was having. Since there are three of us girls and my sister had given birth to a girl, I did not think it was possible for me to have a boy. D'Angelo has two brothers and two nephews so I guess if you look at both sides there really was a good chance of bringing the first boy into the Fuchser family. After we found out we were having a boy we got to let everyone know and the news was so exciting! I did not care what people thought of me for having a baby out of wedlock or any other opinions anyone had because I was genuinely happy with my life.

During the second trimester I got to wear all the cute maternity clothes and everyone wanted to touch my belly. Thank goodness for my wonderful sister Jill. She had just recently had her daughter and was kind enough to lend me all of her maternity clothes and it was a life savor! I loved every minute of it. The baby started moving and there were new developments all the time. The third trimester was by far the worst. I was so uncomfortable, I felt like a whale, and I had developed acid reflux. Oh yeah, and I had to pee like every 5 minutes. I loved the fact that I could eat whatever I wanted and not feel guilty about it because I have always been the type of person who loves to work out and tries to watch what they eat, so becoming pregnant I let loose and enjoyed everything that went into my mouth. The only craving I had was Nesquik chocolate milk. I don't know why this craving but I loved it and wanted one almost everyday. On the flip side a few months before I was due the baby had started to drop and I constantly had so much pressure in my pelvic area. Sometimes it was hard to even walk let alone move around on the couch. This time was also very hard because Dlo was living in Fremont while I was in South Sioux, we were both in school, so we only got to see one another on the weekends. We made sure we saw one another on the weekends and D was always there to comfort me and be my partner in crime when I wanted a late night Oreo McFlurry. I could already tell that he was going to be an amazing father :)

cute maternity clothes

feeling like a whale

The last 8 weeks of pregnancy are painful. You are so ready to get this baby out and so very uncomfortable. I couldn't see my feet, let alone put on my shoes, and sleep was minimal. As uncomfortable as I was, I loved feeling the baby's every movement. Armani had always been a name that D'Angelo and I liked. Before we found out the sex of our baby we had Armani narrowed down for a boy and we never came up with a girls name. Duane is my father's middle name and Dwayne Wade is my favorite basketball player. So Armani's middle name is Dwayne after my father but spelled like my favorite basketball player.

As the days were closely approaching to when I would be giving birth to Armani, my mom and I enjoyed putting together the baby room. We took time putting up stickers and pictures all over the walls, my dad put together the crib, and we carefully organized all the heaps of clothes that we had for our soon to be bundle of joy.

Baby's room

D'Angelo and I were blessed with amazing friends and family and we each received a baby shower. D'Angelo's college friend Roxanne put together a baby shower for him, it was so kind and thoughtful. It took place at his school, tons of his friends showed up each one of them with a gift. I know how broke I was in college so the fact that people bought us gifts was really heart felt. Roxanna was also kind enough to provide a cake and it turned out amazing. D'Angelo is seriously one of the most popular guys from Midland University and I love seeing him around all of his friends and how happy he is when he is reunited with them all.

The cake from the baby shower

 

The next baby shower was hosted for my by all of my beautiful aunts. Aunts, cousins, and close friends were all in attendance. There were so many gifts and my aunts all went to great lengths to make this day so special. There was great food, laughter, and truthful advice about motherhood given to the soon to be mom. The next blog will be about the day I gave birth to Armani :)

One happy momma